Experimental designs on therapy
February 19, 2009 by Vauna Beauvais · Leave a Comment
The NHS, as we know, are committed to providing health provision free at the point of delivery to all people who need it - but it must also provide a cost-effective health provision.
National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence
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The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) is responsible for guiding the NHS and it does this by recommending treatments that are cost effective and those that minimise the burden for the client. The guidelines it produces are based upon the current best evidence available.
Improving access to psychological therapies
The government funds an initiative called IAPT (improving access to psychological therapies). This program is not only about improving access to therapies, but also it is about improving the quality of therapy (as well as ensuring that they meet the NICE guidelines).
The processes for finding evidence that a particular kind of therapy has a high quality is slow as it requires a lot of research over a number of years.
Cognitive Behavioural therapists have always used evidence-based research
Cognitive Behavioural therapists have always used evidence-based research as part of their therapy model, and so there are already many years worth of empirical data to support the effectiveness of CBT (and this is widely promoted by people who use CBT with clients - including me!).
CBT has always been research-based
The therapists that work in other models of therapy (including me, again) now know that they have to provide evidence of effectiveness of their models of therapy, too (otherwise, people can say that CBT is the only therapy that can be evidenced to be effective - and some therapists actually imply that means that the other types of therapy are not effective! Tut, tut, very naughty!)
So, for other models of therapy to be able to prove that they meet the NICE guidelines evidence needs to be provided. And to get the evidence, research has to be done. And research takes a long time.
Further Research
Some of the areas that I would like to see be researched are the presuppositions:
- ‘It is the therapeutic relationship that heals, not the particular model of therapy’
- ‘All therapies have an equal effect’
- ‘Outcomes largely depend on the therapist’
Berne Institute to fund University research on TA
The Berne Institute, in Kegworth at junction 24 of the M1, is a training centre for psychotherapy. They are funding a research study on Transactional Analysis therapy to be carried out in the University of Nottingham.
Professor Patrick Callaghan, is experienced in examining various approaches to psychotherapy and counselling. His research into TA therapy will include questions such as
- What makes TA work?
- With what client groups?
- What systematic evidence is there on which to judge TA’s effectiveness?
Research is now all part of it
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The people who make up the bodies that influence governments and make decisions about public policy believe that empirical data proves that therapies are effective. Hence research now has to become part of the whole system of the therapy model (research, training, practicing, clinical supervision) if a model of psychotherapy is to survive. This is good, though, in terms of clients having confidence that the particular model of therapy is proven to work.
IAPT can have long waiting lists
The IAPT initiative has promted a new wave of thought regarding evidence-based decisions about what is effective. When NHS patients are given the choice they commonly prefer psychological therapy over medication. Due to long NHS waiting lists, many people are not benefiting because they are not getting referred or because they have ‘patched over’ the problem by the time their therapy sessions become available.
Private Practitioners can see clients immediately
A lot of people look for a therapist in private practice, where they can be seen immediately. Sometimes, as a therapist in private practice, I see clients who are on NHS waiting lists, and they tell me that they want therapy or counselling just for while they are waiting to be seen. I am happy to do that, if it is made clear from the start of our time together. Sometimes I see clients who have had their allocated amount of sessions via NHS or IAPT, and that has started them on a journey to a better life, and then they wish to continue, and pay for that themselves. That is very encouraging, and I am happy to see clients in those situations, also.
How to be happy
February 18, 2009 by Vauna Beauvais · Leave a Comment
The law of abundance
The law of abundance says that there is everything a-plenty.
Take a moment to ingest that.
There is everything in abundance.
It’s quite a stretch, isn’t it?
There is plenty of happiness available to you. Plenty of love. Plenty of kindness. Plenty of support.
Hmmm.
Do you believe that?
What does not believing that do to you?
How does believing that there is not plenty of happiness for you, or there is not enough love or support out there that you can get?
Does it stop you from trying to get happiness?
Acceptance is one thing.
Apathy is another.
N.B the law of abundance is not the same as ‘The Law of Attraction’ see this review about a book called, ‘The Secret’ that describes the law of attraction
What if…
- What if there was no real shortage?
- What if you can have virtually all that you really want and need?
- What if we live in a generous universe surrounded by blessings and opportunities to acquire all that we truly desire?
What if people become happy because they desire to become happy?
What if people become happy because they believe that they have the ability to become happy?
What if they act in a way that is congruent to those beliefs?
What if they consistently take the necessary actions that turn their beliefs into realities?
- What if they get to grips with all the things in life that have made them unhappy.
- What if they deal with those things (either current situations, or bad memories).
- What if they find a way to move on appropriately, and live happily today?
Be happy today
Moving on is not about denial, or discounting the significance of events, thoughts, feelings, and situations.
It is about processing those things, i.e.
- Acknowledging,
- Understanding the impact,
- Coming to terms with them,
- Accepting the past,
- Working through guilt, regret, remorse, grief, if necessary,
- Moving on to deal with the present.
- And then finally making an impact on your own future.
Review your reasons
- Why aren’t you happy already?
This is an important decision to ask yourself.
Answering this question can reveal your blocks to happiness, and that’s great! It gives you the material to work with.
Exercise
This exercise in two parts.
- Questions
- Solutions
While working through this exercise,
- Allow yourself to answer the question over and over again, without giving the same answer twice.
- Answer the questions very quickly, do not deliberate or agonise over what you are going to say.
- Write your answers down, we will review what you have written, later in the exercise.
Why is it the same question? It isn’t! Your mind can hear the question differently every time, and / or generate different answers every time.
By the time that you get over 5 or so answers to the questions below, you start getting beyond excuses and justifications and moving into underlying beliefs that are holding you back from being happy.
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Questions:
Why am I not happy already?
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Why am I not happy already?
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Why am I not happy already?
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Why am I not happy already?
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Why am I not happy already?
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Why am I not happy already?
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Why am I not happy already?
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Why am I not happy already?
Because ………………………………………………………………
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The world is full of thousands and thousands of people who have far more difficulties and limitations than you will ever have, and they have gone on to be happy anyway.
So can you.
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Solutions:
Now, look over your answers
Determine which of those are
- Justifications and excuses
- Limiting beliefs
Consider what you can do
- To confront your justifications
- Address your excuses
- Test out assumptions in your limiting beliefs.
Most people find this quite a challenge to do on their own. If you would like a practitioner to help you with this, please get in touch.
Do you think Rich or Poor?
February 18, 2009 by Vauna Beauvais · Leave a Comment
Why do some people end up rich, and some people end up poor?
Millions of men and women have started off with nothing and become financially independent.
- How did it happen?
- What are the common principles of becoming wealthy?
In this article we are going to discuss what wealthy people do and do not do.
You can apply these things to yourself.
You become what you think about most of the time
The things that you think about define your reality. If you dwell on something, the belief that ‘that’s how it is’ grows.
Wealthy, successful people fill their minds and thoughts with images, words and pictures of wealth, affluence, success, productivity. These thoughts trigger the reticular activating cortex in the brain - the part that makes you alert and sensitive to the things that are important to you.
So, you will start to notice that which you focus on. For instance, if you want a yellow car, and you think about that a lot, you will notice yellow cars.
Your brain is sensitised to pick out those things and draw them to your attention with greater frequency and vividness.
People who are not well off fill their minds with scarcity, lack, poverty, being unable to afford things. They talk about how little they have and can have.
Think like wealthy people think
People who are now wealthy, were thinking from an early age,
- How much they already have (rather than what they don’t have).
- How much they want
- What they can do to earn the money to get the things that they want.
You can think and talk only about the financial success that you have and desire. (Refuse to dwell on of lack of finances. If you must think about them, do it, and then think about what you are going to do to change things).
When you do notice yourself thinking, “I cant afford it” change that dialogue to “how can I afford it?”.
Your finances and your time perspective are linked
February 18, 2009 by Vauna Beauvais · 1 Comment
Time perspective means whether you think a long way into the future or a short way into the future. It is also, the amount of time that you take into consideration when planning your day-to-day activities and when making important decisions in your life.
A study was done during the 50’s and 60’s at Harvard University, to find out the reasons for upward social mobility. The researchers were looking for factors that would predict whether or not an individual was going to move upward and be wealthier.
People with long time-perspectives move up economically.
- When you spend weeks, months, years developing your skills and abilities in order to be successful, you have a long time-perspective.
- When you take longer to make decisions, delay gratification, and do not act on impulse then you have a long time-perspective.
- In the extreme, a person with a long time-perspective is thinking and planning 20 or 25 years ahead (which is more than most people).
People with short time-perspectives do not move up over time.
- They don’t have the ability to delay gratification.
- They respond to the impulse to satisfy their desire for fun or pleasure in the short term.
- In the extreme they do not even think about tomorrow - they could have a irresistible urge to spend every penny that they earn, or can borrow, almost immediately.
Elongate your approach to time
When you develop a long time-perspective you develop the ability to delay gratification. You can save some of your money instead of spending it all. You can consider investments. You can resist impulse purchases.
The combination of a long time-perspective and an ability to delay gratification gives you an advantage regarding becoming financially independent.
Exercise:
How do you want your finances to be in 5 years time?
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How do you want your finances to be in 10 years time?
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How do you want your finances to be in 15 years time?
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How do you want your finances to be in 20 years time?
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What is one thing that needs to happen for this to become a reality?
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What can you do to take you into doing that one thing that you need to do to make it a reality?
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What is one thing that you can do this week that will move you towards the thing that needs to happen for your financial desires to be realised?
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Your beliefs about money determine your wealth
February 18, 2009 by Vauna Beauvais · 1 Comment
Good or Bad?
Your attitude towards money affects your emotions and your motivations. Therefore, what you believe about money, and the way that you think about money, will determine how much of it you accumulate.
For some people money is coded as a deficiency need, i.e. it is something that motivates you when you don’t have enough. Then when you have enough, you don’t think about it as much and it is no longer a motivator.
The effect money has on your emotions depends on your attitude to it.
If you are concerned that you have too little, you can become over-focused on the sence of scarity and this can dominate your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Arguments over money put a strain on marriages and relationships, can ruin friendships and excessive worry over money can cause psychosomatic illnesses.
Deep-seated beliefs can be obstacles to accumulating wealth.
What are your beliefs about money?
Do you believe that money is …
- Wrong
- Dirty
- Shameful
- Disgusting
- Scary
- Cursed
- Sinful
- Evil
Have you ever believed that money…
- Ruins relationships
- Changes people
- Causes more problems than it solves
- Breeds resentment
- Is a tool to hurt others
- Makes people leave you
- Makes you unlovable
- Turns people nasty
If you answered ‘yes to any of the options above, ask yourself whether it is the money, or the way that people used money that caused you to conclude those things.
Beliefs are not all based on factual information. They are a distorted conclusion made in a very primitive way, either in childhood, or by being convinced by what others say or what cultures instil, or by drawing conclusions without analysis.
We can often test out beliefs, once we are aware of which beliefs we hold. Ask yourself whether what you are believing is true. Ask yourself to provide evidence for that to support its truth. Say it out loud. Ask other people’s opinion about whether they also think it is true (people who are different to you). After different perspectives ask yourself again whether it is true.
Be willing to hold a new reality
What if money is good?
What if money is used to buy homes and food, cars, education, entertainment, and toys and fun things. What if that is good?
What if money is neither good, nor bad
What if it is to do with the people who use the money - whether they use it in productive ways to produce valuable goods and services, create opportunities for others.
What if there were no money?
- Would all the badness related to money go away?
- Would people still fight over wealth? Still use objects and services to have power over others?
Is it money itself that is bad, or how you decide to use it?
Responsibility
Unless you are not in a capitalist system, you have a duty to acquire money. A duty to yourself and your family, to use it keep yourselves healthy and happy. To meet your survival needs, and then after that, a nice quality of life.
If you want a lot of money, fine. If you want sufficient money, fine. You decide the life that you want. And then work out much money you need to give yourself that life.
Pretending that you don’t care about money when you really do, will make you unhappy.
Spending time and effort into gaining more money than you need to provide the life that you want, is a waste.
If you really want more money, you are going to have to do what it takes to get the money - it will not just come to you, as if by magic (no matter how much you believe that you are going to get it).
However, if you improve your attitude to money and change your beliefs about the availability of it, or your ownership of it, then money will become much less of an issue in your life. The issue will, in fact, become more about the activities that you engage in to gain the money, as well as the quality of your life that the money funds.
Banish those old demons and stop being held back financially
February 18, 2009 by Vauna Beauvais · 1 Comment
What do you beieve about money?
We have just spoken about beliefs about money itself, now lets move on to beliefs about you having money.
Some people believe that they don’t really deserve to be rich.
Some believe that they shouldn’t be successful and rich (”its not right for people like me”)
If you have those kinds of beliefs, and then you do manage to become wealthy you may struggle with feelings of guilt or shame.
I have known people have these feelings quite strongly, and it has affected their thinking, and their actions.
They subconsciously try to get rid of the money, they…
- Lose it
- Waste it
- Give it away
- Invest foolishly
To try to numb the feelings, they may
- Drink excessively
- Overeat
- Use drugs
- Have affairs
- Do other destructive, risky, or self-sabotaging behaviours.
If you want to change your results with money you need to change your attitude to it.
- Value money,
- Respect money
- Do worthwhile things with money.
Money flows through the fingers of those who do not understand it, or take care of it, or use it wisely.
Your money-skills
Some people say things like, “I’m not very good with money” or “I’ve never got any money” or even worse, “I’ll never have any money”.
Being good with money, acquiring money and using money to make your life better is a skill that all of us can learn. Saying that you are just not very good with money is a cop-out. An excuse. A way of not taking responsibility.
Money doesn’t just come to you (usually) you have to do something to get it and keep it and use it wisely. It doesn’t just happen. You can take responsibility for making that happen. If you don’t take responsibility for making it happen, you need someone who takes that responsibility for you. Somebody has to be good with money, or you have none.
Detailed belief changes
The starting point for acquiring money is to change beliefs.
- Believe that you have an unlimited capacity to obtain all the money that you will ever need.
- See yourself as a financial success
- Feel like a person who is deserving of all the money that you can honestly acquire.
- Let those images, thoughts, ideas and feelings guide you in what is foreground, and what becomes the scenery. Allow your decisions to be made while taking in the big picture (i.e. everything that you want in life, not just your immediate needs).
(If you know about NLP, or if you can get to an NLP practitioner, make the concepts of a ‘moneyed you’ have plenty of sensory detail. Anchor those states)
Keep your focus wide, and stay ethical
The preoccupation with money, to the exclusion of the really important things in life, is a problem - not money itself. Behaviours fuelled by greed, and pursuits driven by a sense of entitlement (rather than those of responsibility) not only hurt other people, they hurt the self, too. They have a stunting affect on our personal growth.
We can grow on a personal level and accumulate wealth at the same time. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.
- Earn your money honestly.
- Treat people with respect.
- Be loyal to people who have treated you well.
- Work to get what you want
- Take responsibility for your financial situation
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Money is essential to our lives, and also essential is having good relationships, being loved, loving, laughing and being relaxed and at peace.
Decide now which beliefs about money are not serving you well.
Confront those beliefs by asking yourself, “what if the opposite is true?”
Be the person that you want to be. Create the financial situation that you want.
Do not confuse money with happiness or with success.
But, alter your opinion, attitude, and beliefs about money and your financial life has the potential to change your life, by impacting on your decisions and actions.
5 ways to become a millionaire
February 18, 2009 by Vauna Beauvais · Leave a Comment
How-to?
Once you have decided that you want to become wealthy, you will need to know how you can do that.
Here are the five main ways that fortunes are made in America
(if you know of a source of similar statistics relating to the UK, please post a comment or email me)
- Having a self-owned businesses (74%)
Entrepreneurship of all kinds
Businesses built from the ground up.
- A professional at the top of his or her game (15%)
Doctors, lawyers, architects, structural engineers, scientists, etc,
Become very, very, good at what you do
The top five percent in any field earn 10-20 times more than the average in that field
- Being a senior business executive (10%)
Join a large corporation and work with them for a lot of years.
Rise to positions of seniority
Take stock options, profit sharing and bonus options.
- Sales people and consultants (5%)
It is not necessary to have a degree to be skilled in sales
You don’t have to start your own business
Become very, very good at selling products or services and invest wisely
- Sports, music and other celebrities, inventors, authors, lottery winners, beneficiaries of inheritance (1%)
Only 1%?
‘Fraid so.
The chances are slimmer, but you do get to live your dream
What to do about it
It seems that there is a direct relationship between excellent performance and the kind of high income that leads to financial independence.
So, if you want to become a millionaire - decide what you really enjoy doing (and have a talent or aptitude for) and then throw your whole being into doing it extremely well.
If you are really serious about becoming a millionaire, you must take steps towards it by taking the actions that matter.
- What is it that you are doing right now that is leading you to becoming wealthy?
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- What changes do you need to make in your life to enable your path towards millionairedom more direct?
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- see also Goal Setting and more about money skills
How do I know I need Anger Management?
February 18, 2009 by Vauna Beauvais · Leave a Comment
Angry behaviours captured on video.
Below are some links to videos of people doing inappropriate behaviours because they feel that they cannot manage their anger.
There are all sorts of ways that we behave that are inappropriate. You know -nobody is perfect. We could all over-react, and probably have done at one time or another.
If over-reactions are becoming habitual, you may decide that you would like to do something about it. Either you dont feel good about what you are doing, or you feel uncomfortable or ashamed, or perhaps people around you have let you know that it needs to stop.
Some examples of inappropriate behaviours are shown in the videos below. This is by no means an exhaustive list. (if you know of more, or better, please let me know).
In displaying the videos it is my intention to let you see how things might look from the perspective of other people.
- You could be caught on video, doing your angry displays!
If you feel that you would like to speak with me to address some of your issues around emotions, please get in touch. You will be treated with respect and understanding. The main focus will be to help you to change things and put things right.
Missed Flight
After missing her flight to San Francisco, the woman throws a tantrum that was filmed by an employee of the airline Cathay Pacific.
She is seen screaming at the departure gate and then falls to the ground wailing “I want to go! I want to go!” in Cantonese while an older man traveling with her tries to get her on her feet. “Don’t be so upset, don’t be so emotional,” a Cathay Pacific employee is heard saying on the video.
Watch closely, because at the very end of the video, she stops acting hysterical and begins to give her travelling companion a hard time. She takes her anger our on him, and he has done nothing to contribute to her anger
- Having a silly tantrum, but look at the end of the video, very subtle anger / bullying towards her male friend
Laptop
Dad in the garden playing with card tricks. Son on the stairs on laptop. Mum over-reacts, much to the surprise of dad. How does dad handle this afterwards? How does mums behaviour affect their relationship?
Go to youtube video of mum with sons laptop. See how a brief moment of going out of control can cause sadness to someone else
- Spontaneous loss of control
Office Rage
This is an extreme version of a rage. Most people do not go this far. However, take a look at this video.
- Flipping out and having a big impact on others
If you are tempted to be amused by what happened, and giggle - take a look at another version of the same thing - listen to how frightened people are. Getting itno a rage really frightens the people around you
- Version with sound
Feeling Entitled to show everyone how angry you feel
Some people have a problem with anger that stems from the fact that they feel entitled to show and display their anger to everyone around - no matter how deep the degree. In fact, as the level of frutration increases, so does the feeling of entitlement to show others just how mad they feel.
Notice, not only how undignified it appears to others, but also, how frightening and disturbing it is for other people
- “I believe that I’m entitled to show just how frustrated I feel”
Blaming others for what is not their fault
This needs little explanation. He got into a rage and lost all notions of proper conduct, and didnt consider any consequences tha would resut from his actions
This professional man was arrested.
What would have happened if the police were not there already?
- Blind rage
Go to the page on anger management counselling
Neuroscience and Psychotherapy: A Relational Experience Measured
February 15, 2009 by Vauna Beauvais · Leave a Comment
Neuroscience and psychotherapy
Relational experiences show actual changes in the brain
The brain and the mind are interlinked. There have recently been great advances in our understanding of how the brain and the mind are influenced and affected by each other.
Hence, the knowledge that neuroscience has given us, has informed the way that many therapists now practice, and it has influenced how they think about what goes on in therapy.
The effects of relationship can be monitored in the brain
Using a developmental framework, neuroscience helps us to see the significance of the baby’s early relationships, e.g. that the significance of the infant looking into mothers face, and the mother looking back, and how this relational experience makes changes in the brain.
What goes on in the therapy room is also a very important experiencing of relationship. So, having relational needs met, between therapist and client, affects the brain. We now know that changes in chemistry take place. Previously it was only proven that medications could do this, now it is proven that relational therapy changes brain chemistry. This is very exciting.
The way in which the advances of neuroscience have changed he way that therapist’s work
Good therapists have always known that the therapeutic relationship is a healing medium, set apart from the content of the work done between therapist and client. So, the advances in neuroscience has just ‘proved’ that relationship has a therapeutic effect, and so therapist’s carry on doing, relationally, what they have always known is beneficial.
But, one of the things that therapists didn’t know before is regarding trauma therapy and the brain.
Changes in brain chemistry take place
Neuroscience has now proven that when therapists facilitate clients to tell stories about their past trauma’s (critical incident debriefing, for example) it can incite clients into re-experiencing that trauma - and what happens in the brain as that is happening is that it reinforces and strengthens the neural pathway. The results, then, can be that the client experiences not only, a repeat of the trauma, but actually a deepening of the damaging trauma.
Ever since I was a trainee psychotherapist, and a client with trauma presented, I never felt that I could do critical debriefing ‘right’. We were supposed use a technique to invite clients to go over the traumatic experience, in story form, for the sake of debriefing the experience, with the hope of bringing all elements of it into conscious awareness and thereby eliminate the monstrousness of it (amongst other things).
But when I tried this, I found that clients would become traumatised before my very eyes. And, if I carried on, they would have to leave the session like this and drive home in that state (which I considered to be dangerous).
So, I stopped using that process and focussed on acknowledging the pain, understanding the impact of the events today (not re-living them as they were) using soothing strategies, building on clients strengths, and regaining confidence and high-functioning.
Therapists Processes.
Because the relationship is as important as concepts discussed in therapy, therapists need to continue to use both their left-brain (cognitive) processes and their right-brain (empathic) processes, in work with clients.
This means that therapists offer information to clients, and stimulate their thinking, and at the same time the therapist uses an empathic manner so that the client benefits from the relational experience.
Psychotherapists have always been known about, and been mindful of working with clients as a whole being, where the client’s mind-body-brain make up a system and each impacts on the other. Now, we therapists, have the benefit of the discoveries in the world of neuroscience to help us to support our knowledge with scientific evidence.
Bullying at work
February 15, 2009 by Vauna Beauvais · Leave a Comment
Shouting, abusive language or a lot of demands constitues being mistreated, and can be part of workplace bullying
What is bullying at work?
Bullying may also be called ‘harassment’ ‘unfair treatment’ ‘punishing conditions’.
Definition:
‘The repeated, malicious, health-endangering mistreatment of one employee, by one or more employees (bullies). The mistreatment is psychological violence, a mix of verbal and strategic assaults to prevent the person from performing work well’
How do I recognise bullying at work?
Issues include being on the receiving end of:
- Constant criticism
- Abusive behaviour
- Isolation (being moved)
- Constant monitoring
- Being ’set up’
- Being lied about
- Being lied to
there can be physical, mental and emotional symptoms experienced by people who are on the receiving end of bullying
Physical symptoms:
- Sleeplessness
- Very noticeable weight gain or loss
- Panic attacks
- Lack of motivation
Emotions of the person being bullied
- Anger (against self and against abuser)
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Fear
- Guilt
- Sense of failure
Possible scenarios:
- Bullied person feels that they are not being heard by anyone
- There is no support from others
- People at work, shrug, or are saying that, “its all in your mind”
- Family and friends just say, “confront the bully”, or “blow the whistle”
The impact on bullied people
Trying to raise to every challenge can be draining
When you are being bullied in the workplace, your confidence has been shattered and you may have no strength to confront the bully.
You would benefit from having someone understand what you are going through.
If you were being bullied at school or at home (domestic abuse) you could contact organisations that would be happy to step in and stop the bullying.
What normally prevents people who are on the receiving end of bullying in the workplace, however, is the fear of losing their job. This usually prevents the person complaining to their employer. Sometimes the person has told their immediate manager and nothing has been done. Again, fear (of retribution, or of not being believed) often prevents the person from making a formal complaint to those higher up than their immediate manager.
Even though the bullying may have been going on for a long time (a year or more) there is probably very little hard evidence that will support the person’s case of being bullied.
What kinds of behaviours constitute a part of the bullying process?
Some typical ’small’ events can be part of the early stages of bullying:
Bullying behaviours can include such petty things as, jokes at your expense, sneering, removal of privilages
- Jokes at the persons expense
- Abusive language
- Removal of privileges (e.g. parking or seating)
- Extra work
- Unrealistic targets
- Decisions being overruled (or not being consulted about decision making).
Initially, people on the receiving end of this kind of treatment can respond by working even harder, or trying harder to please people, or win their approval.
Oftentimes the level of challenge can escalate (because they do not want you to succeed in winning approval, or respect, or admiration, so they step up the punishment).
For example
- Work being criticised
- Responsibility being reduced
- Authority being undermined.
- Being isolated from colleagues and/or management
- Being set up to fail.
By this time, other people do begin to notice.
Customers, or clients, or visitors into the workplace, for instance, sense the hostile and undermining nature of the relationship between you and other people. These people may even warn you of what they can see.
How does the bullied person respond?
The person typically takes on of three choices at this point.
- They battle on, working harder and longer to ensure that there are no mistakes or in the hope that they will become indispensable to the company/department.
- They leave the company on the advise of a spouse or best friend
- They go ‘off sick’ with anxiety and / or depression.
Is the bully also a victim?
Yes , I believe so.
I have worked with people who have been labelled as bullies, and I have found out that they are often under a lot of pressure by the company) to behave in a certain way or get particular results.
The bullies that I have worked with have been concerned about their behaviour, and once the impact of their behaviour has been realised, very remorseful and / or guilty.
Sometimes the bully has been mistreated by a manager above him or her. They have been spoken to in a harsh manner and a sneer or element of disgust has been conveyed if they have not gotten the results or behaviours that has been demanded of them by the company. The problem stems from the bully feeling anxious and frightened and going on to instigate and support behaviours that undermine, ridicule or punish others, in order to get particular results. “I felt that I had to do it, at any cost” said one bully to me in session.
Findings of the National Workplace Bullying Survey (2005)
- More than half of people to responded to the survey said that they had been bullied at work
- More than a third said that it had lasted more than a year
- Almost three quarter of people said that they were aware that bullying existed in their organisation.
- Over 40% said that they did not have bullying policies in place at work
The conclusions of the survey suggest that the major factors preventing organisations dealing with bullying effectively are:
- Management style
- Reluctance to confront the issue
The impact of workplace bullying (reported in the survey)
- Half of all respondents said that they had taken time off work
- More than 60 % of respondents said that their level of performance and their work had been affected.
Therefore, can we also say that the organisation also becomes a victim?
- Sickness absence cost the company.
- Staff turnover disrupts working relationships and productivity.
Research (British occupational health research) estimates that between a third and a half of all workplace stress could be a result of workplace bullying.
The organisation has a duty of care to its employees to provide a safe working environment, and to take steps to take steps to address stress related illness in the workplace (see The Court of Appeal 16-point Guidelines on Stress - dated 15th April 2002, Govt dept, ‘Health and Safety Executive’)
- Point 7 - To trigger a duty to take steps, the indications of impending harm to health arising from stress at work must be plain enough for any reasonable employer to realise that he should do something about it.
- Point 8 - The employer is only in breach of duty if he has failed to take steps that are reasonable in the circumstances, bearing in mind the magnitude of the risk of harm occurring, the gravity of the harm that may occur, the costs and practicability of preventing it, and the justifications for running the risk.
- Point 11 - An employer, who offers a confidential advice service, with referral to appropriate counselling or treatment services, is unlikely to be found in breach of duty
Moreover, the organisation needs to show that it takes the issue seriously, for example by implementing a ‘dignity at work’ policy.
Of those who responded to the National Workplace Bullying Survey,
- Over 50% of employees looked for another job
- 22% of employees sought legal advice.
To make real change, organisations can appoint a member of staff to ensure the policy is used within the company - i.e. someone who is responsible for investigating reports of bullying, and also for ensuring that support is given to both bullies and the bullied.
What happens when I come for counselling if I have been bullied or harassed in the workplace?
If you are the person who has been (or is being) bullied:
- When you come here for sessions, you will be listened to, and you will be believed.
- We will talk through what happened to you (or is still happening) and how it has, and is, affecting you.
- I will support you, and help you to clarify what you want to do.
- I will help you to regain confidence as well as assist you to find skills and strategies to regain control over your work and home life.
- And help you to get your functioning back up in the workplace, as well as recovering joy in the areas of your life that are important to you (e.g. family relationships, sports, socialising)
- Eventually, you may wish to move on to looking at what went on from a different perspective, without fear or defences, and enable yourself to identify what it was that you might have contributed to the bullying. This will protect you in the future.
If you are the person who has been labelled as the bully:
- I will listen to you without judgement, knowing that I do not know how it felt to be you in that situation at that time.
- You can tell me how you felt, and are feeling, and what responsibilities you have/had. You can let me know about the pressures and demands on you.
- Together we can understand and evaluate the impact on your behaviour. And help you to deal with any feelings that may arise in you as a result.
- We can address issues such as how to deal with feelings or actions of others as a consequence of what took place in the workplace.
- We can use techniques of anger management and stress management to help you to manage your feelings or responses in difficult or demanding situations.
- Eventually, you may wish to move into a deeper kind of counselling, and address the normal human needs of craving attention or adulation and how you can get those needs met in a way that is free of problems.
If you are a manager or an employer and you are dealing with a bullying issue in your workplace:
- We can look at any cultural or managerial styles that may contribute to the issues surrounding bullying and I can assist and support you in being proactive in implementing dignity at work policies, addressing the culture in your organisation, managing investigations into reports of bullying.
Choosing a counsellor to see about workplace bullying
There is clearly a demand for counsellors who understand the workplace. People who are affected by issues of workplace bullying want to talk to someone who understands the politics and pressures involved.
Employees feel safer in the workplace if:
- There is a dignity at work policy implemented
- There is a provision of counselling for employees regarding stress related illness (including that caused by bullying).
Knowing that their situation has been taken seriously, and that the organisation cares about them, gives an employee some confidence in the organisation, and in themselves.
Counsellors can help employees feel safer at work by listening and supporting them, helping them regain their confidence and sense of personal power (rather than having power over anyone).
If employees feel safer at work, this will have a beneficial effect on the performance of the individual, and on the workforce as a whole, once the feeling of protection spreads