Are you your own worst enemy sometimes?
Do you ever say to yourself, ‘Here we go again!’?
Have you had enough of all the pain?
Do you ever wonder when you’re going to stop this nonsense and start living happily?
Of course we don’t want to keep being in an unhappy life, but it just keeps happening. We can all do it - to varying degrees.
Life CAN get much better
When your relationships are affected, or your work life, or any other aspect that stops you from enjoying a good quality of life emotionally, or psychologically, then you can benefit from psychotherapy.
Change IS possible and life can get much better.
Choose how far you go…
‘You don’t have to be in psychotherapy for three years, or for two years, or a year, if you don’t want to. You do as much or as little as you want to do. Go as far as you want to go. It’s a very personal choice. However, not much can be done in less than 12 sessions, so I’d recommend that as a minimum.
…and how much it costs
When you come along, I’ll be getting a good grasp of the extent of the problem that the issue is causing, and we can discuss what results you are likely to get in approximately which time-frames. That way you can choose how far you may want to go, and get an idea of how much it is going to cost you.
Additionally, I’ll be able to work out what level we’ll work at to get where you want to get to in the time budgeted for.
Some people like to work in ‘blocks’ of time, i.e. do four months or so, and then reassess and either stop or go on again. We can talk about your preferences when we get together.
Focus on your Health
You could decide that you don’t want finances to dictate the amount that you can achieve. If that’s the case for you, then be assured that I take pride in working to a recognised ethics code and professional practice guidelines, I won’t keep you coming to sessions so that I can keep getting paid.
I’ll do my best work at all times, still in the minimum time and cost necessary to you, but without money being a pressing factor. If you have the luxury of being able to afford longer-term work, with or without the confidence of open-ended on-going sessions, you’ll find that you do benefit greatly with absence of the underlying nagging stress that financial constraints bring to the work.
I am happy to work with all kinds of people in all different ways. I enjoy my job immensely; I find it so interesting, and so fulfilling. And part of that is due to the variety ‘ the uniqueness of each person, and the individual way that each person chooses to frame the work and the time that they wish to take to do it in.
You’ve come unstuck NOW because you or your life has changed
The reason that psychotherapy is a therapy that takes months, rather than weeks, is that we’re focusing on, not only the problems that you describe to me in that moment, but also, painful, uncomfortable or disappointing experiences from the past.
It can seem unbelievable or irritating that our psychological aches and pains today are due to unresolved issues from the past. Especially if you’ve been OK for twenty years as an adult and its only now there is a problem!
Well, that’s because we are not static objects. We are moving, evolving, living and growing creatures, living in an environment that is also ever changing. And a crack that was papered up extremely well for those twenty years may suddenly or gradually become un-glued with the inevitable movement over time (emotional growth, for instance) or due to circumstances (a shock or change in your life).
I hope that this is making sense to you as you read this and that you can find a way to relate to it so far.
With psychotherapy you gain an extra depth of perspective
You needn’t have had a terrible thing happen to you as a child, nor been a victim of abuse (although you may have) for the past to be a problem now. It could be that the ‘past’ that we refer to is not as far back as that, even. But in any case, we are gaining an extra depth of perspective in psychotherapy, which we wouldn’t gain with counselling.
And that’s how psychotherapy works.
Sometimes insight alone brings positive change, and that’s wonderful; sometimes we need to do something with the insights.
For all types of complaints, symptoms or problems
The reasons that brought you to psychotherapy could be anything.
Some examples are:
- volatile or boring relationships;
- problems with stress,
- anxiety or mood;
- feeling spacey or very angry,
- sleep problems; eating issues;
- extremes of feeling or behaviour;
- repeating self defeating patterns,
- disconcerting behaviours or thinking patterns;
- pain from losses ‘ or not feeling anything,
- family issues,
- workplace stress,
- tearfulness or depression,
- not being ‘yourself’,
- loss of energy or difficulty finding reasons to carry on;
- somatic complaints like headaches, nausea, fatigue, aching, bodily tension, IBS, high arousal,
- teeth grinding, etc,.
All of those states listed above are very uncomfortable and very real NOW.
Usually, the first place we start is in what’s happening in the present. Then, when we have that down to a manageable level, we’ll begin to widen the perspectives out a little.
Our goal is to relieve your symptoms, or stop the problems that you describe, and have you live harmoniously with yourself (and other people) in the way that you can only dream of doing, when you first come along.
The time to stop is when you are free from pain, distress or limitation
To what degree we achieve this for you depends on how long you stay in therapy ‘ once you start on the road to getting your life the way that you want it, there is always more that you can do to achieve that by deeper and deeper degrees (none of us ever gets perfectly and completely issue-free).
But the time to stop is generally when the issues that you have left are not causing you any pain or are not limiting your enjoyment or fulfilment of life in any way.
That’s when you’ll know that you don’t need to continue any more, and its time to make an ending with your therapist in the way that feels right and works for you. You, as the client, will know when this time comes, and you can just tell your therapist that you are ready to stop, or let your therapist know that you are thinking about it, and even open it up for discussion, if you wish.